Every pastor that has ministered for any length of time is
familiar with abuse. Some pastors or
pastor’s wives grew up in abusive situations.
Others see kids or spouses in their community that are abused. We understand that in our sin-soaked world, abuse
happens and we compassionately do our part to minister, care and rescue those
in abusive family situations.
But one of
the things we pastors don’t think much about is abuse in our churches. I am not talking about sexual predators that
all churches should be on guard against.
Rather, I am talking about seemingly ordinary families in our churches,
people perhaps in leadership or in ministry that are secretly either abusers or
victims of abuse. This is the topic of
Jeff Crippen and Anna Wood’s book A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in your
Church.
I do not
know either of the authors personally. A
couple in my church gave me the book, sharing with me that Jeff Crippen was an
ex-pastor of theirs in the years before they moved to our area. Jeff has a background in law enforcement and
has been a pastor for 20 years. Anna
Wood is an abuse survivor who writes and blogs to help other victims of abuse.
A Cry for
Justice is a powerful book. It is
obvious that the authors feel passionate about their subject. Anna dealt with it first-hand as a victim, Jeff
as a pastor of a church with abusive families.
It is a call for believers, and especially pastors, to open their eyes
to the fact that there may be families in our churches who outwardly appear
normal, but in reality are hidden centers of abusive behavior. The book is a hard read, because it is a hard
topic. Jeff and Anna delve into the
mentality of the abuser – their motivations and thought processes. They present a clear picture of the ugliness
of sin and the true depravity of man.
The authors
argue that the serial abuser has a mentality foreign to our understanding. While pastors deal with sinful people all the
time, we can often see that solid biblical counsel, confession, prayer,
forgiveness and the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives can bring true life
change. For the serial abuser, that is
not the case, mainly because the authors argue that the serial abuser, even the
one who holds a leadership position in the church, is not a believer. They argue that:
The authors argue that when we see the serial abuser who he really is, as someone who does not know Christ, we are able to see the abusive situation as it really is.While every Christian can certainly hurt, mistreat or be insensitive to another person, and more frequently than we think, it is impossible for a Christian to be what we have defined as an abuser in this book. That is to say, Scripture makes it plain that a person whose very mentality and habitual practice is that of entitlement, power, control, and justification, does not know Christ, nor does Christ know him. (p. 241)
The book is
a valuable resource for pastors. In
addition to chapters on how the abuser thinks and operates (which are very
disturbing), there is good counsel about the effect of abuse on children, how
the church can help an abuse victim, how abuse often continues after separation
and how the church should deal with abusers, especially those who are on a
quest for power in the church. I am not
sure I agree with the authors on every point.
They argue that abuse qualifies in Scripture as abandonment (1 Cor.
7:15) and thus enables the abuse victim to pursue divorce without sin. Another controversial point they make is that
pastors should be reading secular experts in the subject of abuse; men and
women who have made is a specialty to delve into the mentality of abuse. I for one am not totally convinced on these
last two points, but I do plan to hunt down some further resources to pursue
these questions in greater depth.
Despite the
fact that it contains truths that are hard to read, pastors should read this
book. Jeff Crippen and Anna Wood have
done a service to the church. They have lifted
the lid off something we do not want to talk about and have shed the light of
the Scripture upon it. While it should
not prompt us to see abuse under every tree and bush, it should equip us to
recognize the signs when we see it, and have the tools to compassionately and
justly care for the victims of that abuse.