First of all, Haidt is not a Christian and this is not a Christian book. Haidt is actually an atheist, although in at least one passage in the book he admits struggling to find words and explain concepts without spiritual references, which I thought was interesting.
Haidt’s story begins with what he calls a tidal wave of suffering that exists today in the lives of our teens and young adults. These young men and women are being diagnosed with anxiety and depressive disorders at an alarming rate. What is causing this? His answer has many facets, but the tipping point of the problem rests with the ability of impressionable young minds to have continual access to things like social media or online gaming, especially through the smart phones that every child has in his or her pocket. For him, the Internet is not the problem. Unfettered 24-hour access to it can be.
Today’s child did not grow up in the same way that I grew up. My friends and I ran around the neighborhood. We engaged in risky play. We were often left alone on the playground or in the neighborhood to settle our own disagreements. We walked to school by ourselves. We developed what Haidt calls our antifragility – the risky, broadening experiences of our childhood and early teen years gave us a strength of mind and emotions that set us in good stead for the future. In the vast majority of cases, that is not happening today. Parents helicopter, always hovering, diving in to solve their kids’ problems for them. They do not allow their children to take risks at play. Even playgrounds are designed in such a way that it is hard to get hurt even if you tried.
As a result, kids grow up differently today. And parents parent differently. Now add in smart phone technology and unscrupulous social media companies that want to addict those children as young as possible, and you have trouble. Being glued to their phones has replaced the free play that was once part of growing up. Girls are increasingly anxious and depressed because they can never match up with what is found on social media, and any attempts to do so can be viciously undermined by their peers. Boys can get lost in the world of online gaming or pornography and having never been allowed or encouraged to take risks in childhood, refuse to take risks as an adult. Either way, it is not good, and our children are paying the price.
Does Haidt have a solution? Many, actually. In one fascinating chapter, he taps into spiritual wisdom from the past like being slow to anger and quick to forgive to provide ways for people to break free from the anxiety and depression in their lives. While not all the ideas are Christian, many of them have Christian parallels. He encourages governments to set age limits on social media accounts (13 is the present limit, he encourages at least 16, he prefers 18). He calls on social media companies to use the technology available to actually verify the age of their users, which they do not typically bother doing. He sets a vision for schools to provide elementary kids with more free play (longer recess, better playgrounds with more risk allowed, and less supervision and rules) and phone-free school days. And he calls on parents to be proactive and to band together, not only to demand change, but also to create sub-communities where their kids can grow up with other kids who are also not being given a smart phone and social media access at 10 years old.
Haidt’s solutions are practical and well thought out. Time will tell whether legislators can put aside party and band together to pass laws for the health of our kids. I am truly skeptical that amoral social media companies will change without being forced to by law. Parents can and should read this book and change their parenting habits.
And as a parent – how was I challenged? I need to let my son take risks. As he grows older, given him more and more freedom and responsibility so he can grow in areas that will benefit him as an adult. Limit daily screen time. And be very cautious about handing him a fully functional smartphone at a young age. According to Haidt, the benefit of these things will be lifelong.